“If we are peaceful, if we are happy, we can smile and blossom like a flower, and everyone in our family, our entire society will benefit from our peace.” Thich Nhat Hanh
I feel for my close friends and loved ones that are going through moments of hurt and sadness. I don't like to see them suffer. All I want is to make it all better with a hug and supportive words. But it's not that easy and if it were how would we ever learn?
I do believe when we go through a challenging time with a relationship; be it a significant other, a family member, or simply a rough patch in life, it's critical to lean on faith. By faith I mean, to believe with all your heart that this is an assignment that you will grow from and that you are not alone. To have the knowledge to ask our higher power for clarity, strength, love, and guidance. To know that you are not getting punished, this is simply an opportunity to expand.
While we are in the situation, it's challenging to believe that everything will be okay. But it will be. It's so tempting to get off track when we are hurt, sad, confused, frustrated and feeling alone. It's easy to turn to drinking, eating poorly, and looking for anything to distract us from thinking about the problem(s).
We can do ourselves a huge favor while we are walking through the storm and that is, to slow down and take care of ourselves. Even though it's a rough time, we have a choice, a choice to either make our day-to-day worse or just a little bit better with each passing moment.
We are quick to forget to love ourselves and to nourish the soul. It's so much easier to focus on the problem, everything that is not going well, to replay the moments of sadness and hurt. I get it, this is a natural thing to do; however, we will attract more of whatever we focus on. So why water the weeds? Instead, it's best to take small actions to build positive momentum. This can happen by shifting focus and taking the time to perform small acts of kindness. It doesn't have to be a huge deed. It can be something small like offering to take a shopping cart back for someone. The other action that can be taken instantly is to practice gratitude. Giving thanks for the non-materialistic things in your life and for the opportunity to learn more about yourself.
By no means do I mean ignore the problem. In fact, the task at hand is to face the situation and work towards a solution. We all know that coming to a solution; whether it be, making a big decision or taking on change doesn't happen overnight and that's why it is so important to take care of oneself.
By choosing to shift focus and incorporating some of these practices you will see clearly and take on difficult discussions or decisions thoughtfully, with confidence, and with calmness.
1. Give thanks for the assignment at hand.
2. Cleanse the body by not taking in toxins (detox from alcohol, too much caffeine, etc.).
3. Exercise (walking, yoga, running, trail hiking, biking, etc.).
4. Pick up a book or listen to inspiring stories and interviews (via Ted Talk or Podcast).
5. Try a new healing technique (such as Reiki, Float Tank, Group Meditation, Counseling).
6. Get out of your comfort zone (try a new exercise class, eat out by yourself, attend a group seminar, etc.) *this helps build confidence*
In summary, take those hard times in your relationship or life as a reminder to slow down, to dedicate more time to yourself, and to hit the reset button. By doing so, you will get through the rough patch with grace, with clarity, and with less suffering.
I send you love, lots of love.
Growing and sharing...